Random Thoughts

I was ... interested at first when everything started. Sure, admittedly I felt guilty of being a rebound. I wanted you to search whether or not this is what you truly felt but things led to another and now we're here.

Over time, I've gotten to know you better, know your life, your surroundings and what makes you ... you. I sympathize with you and understood the reasons for your mannerisms and tried to explain it to those who are uncomfortable with it.

There are a lot of thing I recently liked about you but I never really thought of what made me fall into love. I never really understood where I crossed the line but now that I'm over that line I suddenly realized there was an invisible wall... one of which I did not understand. I'm the type of guy who over analyzes everything just because I believe there's something else behind it. Love however, is a game of trust.

Did I fall in love because of her looks, charm, social status, physical attribute or her aura... Do I deserve her because of those... will I love her if she has none of it... a lot has ask about these including myself at one point but I never really saw her for those... Did I like her because of history or simply because I was the lucky one to answer her call... I still didn't know.

I... thought at some point... it was actually destiny...Ok, so it sounds cheesy but the more I think of how often we meet and see each other... I thought it was like God use a giant chessboard on my life... and the feeling got deeper as I sympathized with her, her worries, fear and anxiety.

We bonded, flirted, dated and frankly a whole lot more... we talked about what should we do, what would we do, how should we do it, how long till something ... etc. I was happy that as much I was worried about you, you felt the same.

So... where am I now... Now, I don't care about what I just said above because in me, I just want to be beside her even if it hurts because for me it makes me feel content. I will not do those "I will die for you" nor "You are my everything" but I feel as though she is a truly important piece of my life that I don't know how much she will affect me nor how much of me will truly change but I gambled to find a deep, understanding and a mutual connection and the girl was just a bonus.

I ... love you.... for whatever reason... because as much as you don't want me to leave, I never want to leave you. Even while writing this, I only thought of you....